background image

Chasing Time

Brenda Lloyd | 2019-05-01


When I posted the above picture to Instagram and Facebook, I didn\'t realize how dumb it sounded.  When I looked at it a bit later, and did realize that it was a little odd, I was actually going to remove it.

And then I didn\'t. (Yes, I often waffle).

Because think about it...

How many times do you hear people say, \"Where did all the the time go?\" or \"Time got away from me!\"?...as though time itself has the ability to escape, run or play hide and seek.

If you were to set out looking for it, to follow it, where do you think you\'d find it? Do you really think you could?

Unfortunately, once time escapes or hides, it is gone...forever.  There is no getting it back.

Obvious, right?  So why is it that most people don\'t actually get that until something drastic happens to make them appreciate the value of time, or until it they run out of it entirely.

I know that if I hadn\'t gotten so ill, I\'d still be trying to find it, I\'d still be crying out for more...

Now that I am all too keenly aware that every second, every moment, is a gift, I don\'t go out looking for and wondering about the time I\'ve already lost...I actively search for more to use in future. (Examples - I\'ve moved into a tiny home and now enjoy the time I save by not having to clean a lot; I plan my shopping and errands better so I only have to make one trip).

One of the first articles I ever wrote (when I was bored, recuperating from one of my brain bleeds) was about how my stroke and brain injury, and the downtime it forced on me,  affected my perception.  An excerpt:

\"Soon after I got sick, I went through a phase in which I thought the brain damage I had sustained had given me psychic abilities. I knew what my children were thinking, I knew what was going to happen next. I finished my husband\'s sentences, and often understood things with such clarity that I got goose bumps.

I soon realized, however, that there was nothing supernatural about what I was experiencing. My illness had simply given me the benefit of time and I was, for maybe the first time since my childhood, able to focus wholeheartedly on the fascinating world around me\". 

(The entire article can be read on this website in the portfolio section).

I went from having no time - mother, professional, wife - to having no choice but to fat-ass it on the couch and slow down until my condition stabilized.  At the time, I was amazed by how crystal things became.

Now, having been given no choice but to forever continue pacing myself, I completely appreciate the view from the slow lane. Gone is the speed induced blur.  I now have time to understand the world. I stop to \"smell the roses\". And anything I can do to simplify my day, my schedule, my distractions, I do.  I don\'t chase time anymore.

I search for it, and save it.